No Expectations Challenge: Day 27-30
April’s challenge proved to be a little more difficult than some of the other months. Previously, I was able to write daily about my experiences but this time around was different. Ironically letting go of any past expectations I had about journaling is where the bulk of the growth happened.
Intentions were set at the beginning to be aware of when I began expecting a certain result from a situation. To not be disappointed, I had to let go of expecting something from others.
If I wasn’t conscious about my thoughts, it was easy to fall back on old ways. Let’s be honest I didn’t do it all the time but I’m not mad at myself for this. I started this challenge setting no expectations because this is what the habit change was all about.
Weird how that works.
Even though I wasn’t able to stay in the present everyday doesn’t mean that this challenge was a fail. I had some pretty big moments of realizations that came through when I was able to put my brain to work.
On many occasions, I let go of high expectations from my children by reminding myself that they don’t have to know what they “should” be doing. They are kids and like adults they make mistakes. Turns out, this month was time to get rid of the shoulds. This word is a catalyst for expectations and has now become a trigger for my brain. It tells me to pause and assess my feelings in a situation.
Easing Into Next Month’s Challenge
As I rounded out the month, there was one thing that seamlessly lead into May’s challenge. I needed to get rid of an old expectation that others believed about me in order to move on.
In the past four years, I have been consistent about exercising regularly. Something I had previously never been able to do. But when I do something, I go big. When I started running, it was about finishing a Couch to 5k program with the intention to run ONE race. That one race eventually turned into running the Chicago Marathon, pushing myself past the point of pain into a place where running now hurts.
During marathon training, I also did kickboxing, meaning I was doubling up on workouts. After we moved back to Ohio, I dropped both running and boxing trading them in for Crossfit. After a little over a year of physically pushing my body to its limits, it was time to press pause. Even though the plan is not to quit, the break was laced with expectations of what others had thought of me.
This decision will probably come as a shock to our local Crossfit community but it was one that I needed to make without being swayed by others’ opinions. While I will miss them during my hiatus, the moment I stopped pushing and listened to what my body needed, the decision was easy. It was time to dial back my workouts in order to heal my body.
No one, not even myself expected this move to slow down and take a break from the high intensity workouts I was used to. I don’t know what to expect from the changes I’ve made but that’s okay. I am excited to see how leading with my mind, body and soul will help me connect to what is best for my physical body.