stay at home mom

No, It’s NOT A Crime To Be A Stay At Home Mom With School Aged Kids

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Just because I’m at home during the day without my kids doesn’t mean I’m going to sit around watching talk shows and eat the elusive Bon Bons all day long.

On the same note, I have no interest in going back to work either. Whatever that means. The last job I held outside of our house was 10 years ago and my bartending days are behind me. Since then, I’ve become quite the entrepreneur working for myself as soon as my daughter was born. Yes, I do want to contribute financially to the family, but the 9-5 isn’t for me.

Non-Negotiables For Staying At Home

In 18 months, my youngest starts 1st grade (Kindergarten is half day where we live). At this time, I will have a first, third, fifth and seventh grader in our midst. What that means is from the time my youngest leaves to when my oldest get home I have five and an half hours.

Sure, that could be enough time to find a part time job, but I really enjoy working from the comfort of my home. There are many factors I would need to consider if I wanted to get a job outside our home. Mostly, there are aspects of being a stay at home mom I don’t want to sacrifice. And it has nothing to do with laying around all day (while that is a perk sometimes):

  • I want to be there for my junior high daughter when she gets home from school. At this age, she probably won’t want to talk to me all that much. But the fact that I am available for her if she needs me is comforting.
  • Having the flexibility to stay home with my kids to take care of them when they get sick is a non negotiable.
  • We have several friends that do work outside the home and I’m happy to open up my house to their kids when their child care has fallen through.

Is It Necessary To Work Outside The Home?

This first grade “deadline” has been looming over my head like a dark cloud for some time now. Sure, I will have more time to create an income to financially help our family. But let’s be real. I like the set up we’ve got going on here. My work as a mom is important even though I don’t get paid to do it.  I want to continue this role while the children are home, but when they are gone it’s time to get cracking on my passions.

It’s possible to have both.

The idea of having flex time to create when it is convenient for me is highly appealing. In my line of work, sitting at a desk for hours on end blocks my flow. Breaks in my day and changes in scenery are necessary to let new ideas stream in. It’s like when you’re trying to concentrate, but all you can hear is that subtle ac grinding noise in the background. I’m sure if I was strapped to a desk, I would be looking at a blank page or screen, forcing myself to work when I wasn’t ready to produce.

Things I love about working from home:

  • Thrice daily walks with my dog
  • Spontaneous play time with my youngest
  • Cooking healthy meals for lunch
  • Doing Yoga with Adriene
  • Curling up with a good book
  • Writing when the idea comes to me

Preparing For The Future

The next 18 months is where, with daily consistent action, I can cultivate something pretty cool. Even now, I maintain a writing, editing and publishing schedule to fit into the pockets of my day.

It’s the little things you do each day that add up into something big.

In 18 months, you could have two babies.

I will have written millions of words, impacted thousands of people and read hundreds of books that will make me a better writer than I am today.

In 18 months, I will be a different person than I am right now. The key is to do something daily towards my craft no matter how small in order to get better. I don’t see these next 18 months as a waiting period. They are a time to plug in and start doing the work.  The more I put myself out there now and get into a groove, the more time I will have down the road. Each day, I will continue to improve myself as a writer and human being.

My Role As A Stay At Home Mom

I was a latch key kid and craved that independence. It was fun coming off the bus to our house knowing my mom was still at work. Although doing this for years made me realize that when I had kids, I wanted to be there when they got home.

The stay at home mom job is definitely my jam. All signs point toward me staying in this role even when my kids are in school full time. Sure, I will still have to take care of our home, schedule appointments, be their chauffeur, run errands, etc. But it’s during those five and an half hours while they are away that I get let go of “moming” to do something just for me.


Put your oxygen mask on first.

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