Social Media: We Are On A BREAK! – 30 Day Journey

It’s become an obsession, almost an addiction of sorts. When I wake up in the morning, I check it. All morning while I’m getting the kids ready for school, I check it. On the way to school (yes, even while driving), I check it. It is a semi-permanent attachment to my hand like a third appendage. Yes, I’m talking about my phone.

I have a pretty regular series of social media and app checking I do each time I put my thumb on my phone to turn it on. Facebook, Instagram, Insta-Stories, Facebook again to check notifications or see if there is something I “have” to respond to immediately and then probably Instagram one more time for good measure. Throw in a couple more apps from my phone and another round of checking social media and it’s been a good 10- 15 minutes of mindless scrolling. There is no rhyme or reason behind it except for the fact that I am obsessed with making sure everyone is responded to in a timely matter.

Yes, I know I have a people pleasing issue. I’ve been working on those for several years now.

Tracking the amount of likes or followers I have each day drives me to the brink of insanity. Sure, I gain more followers but am I cultivating real relationships or adding value to people’s lives?

Sometimes. Depends.

I try and post something of value at once a day and sometimes a random thought here and there. It’s not even about being bored as much as it has become a habit that I must do. For the past 9 years, social media has become such a huge part of who I am and how I brand myself. Lately, I’ve been feeling a little overwhelm with keeping up with all the changing to make sure I am being seen by my target audience.  It’s gotten to the point, where I feel so significant when people comment or like my posts and it shouldn’t be about me but the message. On the flip side, I am not genuinely commenting on other people’s posts. Sure, I comment with something relevant and not spammy but it’s all to beat the social media algorithm. If I don’t build rapport with people than my stuff will not get the exposure it needs to reach my niche.

Yes, it’s completely self centered.

I have also gotten really good at checking my phone and “listening” to others. I have been quite the hypocrite in my house. I tell my kids to turn off or pause their devices when they talk to me so I can look into their eyes but I have prided myself on being such a great multitasker that it’s ok if I am on my phone when talking to them.

Not So Much!

Did you know there is a switch where you can turn off notifications on your phone so you don’t know when someone comments or likes your post? I do and I turned it off a year or so ago. Guess what, it doesn’t really help. I still go in and manually check that little notification button within the apps…all the time. We have all become slaves to our devices at our house and I realized that change begins with me. I have to provide my children with a model of a person who doesn’t NEED to check her phone 100 or more times a day.

They need:

* A mom who wants to spend her time focused on them and pursuing her passions.

*A mom who is mindful about the time she spends on social media and the internet in general.

*A mom who wants to enjoy the moments instead of watching other people’s lives unfold before her.

*A mom who utilizes the internet and social media in a responsible and deliberate way, cultivating real relationships.

*A mom who will provide real value to everyone she meets and to her children.

For the next 30 days, I’m taking a social media hiatus.

1. To deeply focus on my daily writing, pouring my story out onto paper, the good ol’ fashioned way.
2. To break the bonds that social media has on me.
3. To create a better relationship with social media so when I come back I am the one who is consciously adding value instead of adding to the noise.

This decision was not something I took lightly or that I’m doing for anyone other than myself and my family. I will be documenting my 30 day self discovery on my website as accountability. I want to cultivate relationship through my writing, still being a part of society and not shut myself off completely, so when you want to chat, you can reach me at my email (abbey@abbeyfatica.com) and always by phone if you have my number.

I am ready to accept this challenge that I have issued onto myself. It is a NINE year habit that needs to be broken and I’m excited to see what other changes come from this experiment. I know I can do anything for 30 days and yes, it will be hard but I’m up for it. The anxiety has already been building inside, but that means I need to do this. Please keep in touch via my website, email, in person or on the phone because harnessing real relationships is one of the main reasons I know I need this.

*Side note, it’s only been 12 hours since I took all the apps off my phone and I’ve already wanted to check them no less than 15 times. 7.5 of those hours I was sleeping…