Finding Your Mom Tribe After A Move
No Expectations Challenge: Days 21-26
In the past couple years we have had some major life changes in the way of moving. The first move was huge since we had lived in the same state our entire lives. We had no idea how the kids would do since they had been born and raised in the house we bought to grow our family in. They knew no different and never had to move. Because of that, I didn’t know what to expect, so I let go and went with the flow. With that attitude, overall, it went smoothly.
The second time we moved was a little different because I thought I knew what to expect. In hindsight, having no expectations would have been better because our movers weren’t very careful with our belongings. Therefore, I was disappointed when some things arrived broken and damaged.
On the other hand, the kids did great. While they were sad to move from the only house they’ve ever know, they easily made friends at their new schools and around the neighborhood. Coincidentally, the transition during the next move was even smoother. Our kids, in fact, are really good at change. They adjust well in new schools and find one or two friends they truly bond at this stage in their lives.
Finding Your Tribe Can Be A Challenge
As I look back on the moving experience for me, it was like night and day. The first time I was gung ho about meeting new people, really embracing our move down south.
Everyone was willing to give you a chance and so welcoming. Charlotte is a transplant city, meaning many people are looking for new friends because not many are native. Every time I went somewhere wearing OSU gear, I would get a big Go Bucks from someone or an O-H to which I would reply with an enthusiastic I-O.
I “friended” lots of people on Facebook in moms groups, running groups and in our neighborhood. Out of the hundreds of people I met, I found my close knit tribe. Since many people don’t have family local to them, we depended on one other. The old adage was true that it takes a village to raise a child and we had found ours.
Eighteen months later, I was ready to embrace the adventure of moving back home. While I was excited about being closer to family, I was going to miss my mom tribe. I never had anything like that before and it was refreshing. Luckily, I knew how to approach making friends in a new city. So when we moved back to Ohio, I did exactly what I did before but it didn’t receive the same results.
Or anything close to it.
There seem to be less mom groups, I wasn’t running anymore and our neighborhood didn’t have that community feel like our previous one. What I found with our current city is that friendships have been established for years since most people stay here all of their lives. Family is close so they are able to rely on them. In essence, it has been more challenging to infiltrate my way in. While I have met some other moms, I haven’t found “the ones.”
I look at how quickly my children can make friends and get a little jealous of how they instantaneously have a BFF. The difference is I am choosier about who I spend my time with these days. While I’m happy to make your acquaintance and shoot the breeze, it doesn’t mean I want to start planning dual family vacations.
In my experience, it takes having lots of acquaintances to lead you to the one friend you click with. Looking back at my closest friends, I didn’t go out in search for them. Instead they came into my life at the right time to forge a friendship in a completely serendipitous way.
Meaning I have got to keep meeting new people in order to get connected to my tribe.
Put your oxygen mask on first.
Self care is essential for all parents to make it through the day.
So I’ve created a guide just for you: 7 Steps To Saying Yes to Yourself.