No Eating After Dinner Challenge: Day 13

“Pour some sugar on me!” 

When something you want is gone, your focus is on finding on a reasonable or better replacement. My sugar habit is no joke and my cravings are strong right now. We finished off the last sleeve of Oreos from the Costco sized box a couple days ago.

I say we, but I mean me. 

And since it’s been gone, my obsession has launched into finding a sugary, chocolately snack in our house.

Yesterday was my hubby’s birthday and we made cupcakes for him. Lucky for me, they were made with regular flour, meaning no treats for mom. This didn’t bother me because let’s say I don’t want a repeat performance of what happened the last time. What I did want was a gluten free replacement and because my youngest was sick, I didn’t get one. NO biggie but my inner voice led me straight to the pantry to see what else would suffice.

I rarely eat fruit snacks but I had gotten the kids fruit by the foots and the temptation was too strong to pass up. As soon as the sugar hit my mouth I felt a sense of relief. Then of course I wanted more but I restrained myself for the time being until I took my daughter to her skating lesson.

It fell at a weird point in the evening where it was too early for me to eat before hand and too late to eat afterwards. I ultimately chose after the kids went to bed but it kind of felt like cheating on this challenge.

I brought myself a drink, so that I could stall hunger a bit, but in desperation, I grabbed a couple dollars to stop at the concession stand to get my sugar fix. My daughter saved me from giving in by telling me to watch her the whole time. She would have noticed if I got up to leave and I didn’t want to lie, so I dug deep into my purse to find yet another fruit by the foot I had put in there for the kids. I was hungry and it was sugar, so again I ate it. When we got home, the kids went to bed and then I ate dinner.

Looking back to this past Saturday night at the mother son dance, I recalled the amazing gluten free cupcake I had and was concocting a plan on getting another. Apparently, they only make them on Saturdays and I want (need) something now. When I go to the grocery store on Friday, I think a box of gluten free brownie mix with fill my void.

Now that’s all I can think about in my spare time. If it’s not one obsession, it’s another. And while this whole not eating after dinner thing isn’t so bad, it’s the sugar that has my attention.  It’s only been two days of no Oreos and I’m definitely going through symptoms of withdrawal. Can you imagine if I was actually being intentional about not eating sugar?

It’s time to go to the books (aka Google) and read up on the effects of sugar on the body. When I know how my body reacts to something, I can act with purpose to consciously start a new habit. I don’t want to take on too much right now but like social media I can see that sugar has a strong hold on me.

I’m ready to release it from its power.

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