No Expectations: Days 7-9
The last couple days have been filled with little to no intention of making sure I was not holding expectations around myself and others. In fact, I might have hit an obstacle, therefore blocking my ability to be level headed.
It seems as if when I begin a new habit, old ones decide to creep back in with gusto. The one that made it’s appearance this weekend was social media and my need for checking it constantly.
Coincidentally, I decided to reduce my sugar intake which possibly made me vulnerable to distractions. As I sit here and write today with an open mind, I realize that my creativity was stifled by having my phone attached to my hand all weekend.
I would stop and try to think of something to write but would draw a blank. In hindsight, I see that my phone was the most definitely the problem. It wasn’t that I didn’t have time to write but I didn’t make the time to slow down and detach myself from the constant steam of information at my fingertips.
I was plugged into social media for most of the weekend and it showed in my self-care and my attitude towards my family. The decision to reduce sugar came in on Friday and I believe the detox symptoms pushed me back into familiar territory. While I don’t blame myself I did begin putting expectations on myself for how this whole sugar detox was going to play out.
In the end of my daydream, it was going to shed all the unwanted fat my body was holding onto and in turn get my stomach ripped. I was already feeling the pangs of disappointment flow through my veins.
While I became focused on this new habit, I lost focus on the one, I was currently working on and all inhibitions went out the window.
The kids had recently started chores and the frustration level was rapidly growing because my expectations for when the chores should be done during the day was much different than theirs. It turned into a mess and I was yelling more than I had in weeks.
*High Expectations Here*
Now I’m all for a little downtime scrolling social media but this was getting out of control and I had let one of my favorite activities, reading, fall by the wayside.
This morning I made the commitment to myself to restart and being anew by setting down the phone and only checking at designated times during the day. When this happened, my patience returned, I did all my self-care routine before the kids got home from school and opened my mind enough to let the ideas flow seamlessly out of my head and onto the paper.
I even picked up a book and am halfway through, only pausing to do some routine decluttering, inspired by the book, throughout the house. I’m starting to see that many of my bad habits stem from a small electronic box that I hold in my hand.