No Expectations: Day 6

If I made a list of all the expectations I have for myself and others, we’d be here all day long. It isn’t till I’m knee deep in something that I realize what I’m doing. Awareness is key to all this, otherwise I’m stuck on autopilot allowing the disappointments to flood in.

When it comes to working out, I find I can push myself too far. A 6am Crossfit class can come way too early for my brain to be working intentionally. Many of the moves have become a habit so I don’t have to think about how to do the exercises because they come naturally.

Before the work out goes up on the screen, I do a pre-workout stretch and roll my muscles really being in the moment. As soon as the W.O.D. goes up, my mind flips a switch already deciding what my body can or cannot do that day. It isn’t till I leave to come home that I realized what I had done. I saw the reps and the weight and immediately knew what to expect from what I could do in the past. My back was sore and combining that with deadlifts, I knew this was already going to suck. I tried the Rx weight but it was painful. Instead of treating my body right, I over do it to the point of muscle exhaustion. Go figure, I need to start listening to my body in the moment.

In the last year of doing Crossfit, I have gotten more injuries than in any other sport. Since I was already in decent shape, I came in thinking I could do more than I could actually sustain. Looking back, I did start with smaller weights but it’s possible I started jumping up too fast. Now I have wrist, forearm, lower back and shoulder injuries that are a constant dull pain.

To work on restoring these areas, I have been supplementing Crossfit with daily yoga to help strengthen my muscles and stretch out my body. With yoga, I do the opposite and underestimate what I am able to do with my body. The difference is that with yoga, my mindset is of it being a moving meditation. To flow with my breath and be present in the movements we are doing. Because I can get into the zone, I am able to breath into the areas causing me pain physically.

I now go onto the mat as I am and let everything go from my day so far, leaving all the soreness on the mat. While Crossfit is more of a competition with myself to go until it hurts, yoga is something I am able to do everyday to move my body and connect my mind with ease.

As much as I love the Crossfit community, I need to go into my thrice weekly workouts with no expectations and be okay with if I am slower or faster than past times. To be good with the fact that today I might not lift as much as last week. Every day my body is different than the day before and I have to be gentle to it in a way that honors where it is right now and not where I think it should be.

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