Ding! Oh, the notifications and how they draw you in. You see that it is an On This Day from 14 years ago. That is where Facebook tugs on my heart strings. The On This Day feature brings up memories from my engagement to my wedding, the kids birthdays or pictures from when they were itty bitty. This is one of the main reasons I couldn’t hit the delete my account button on Facebook.
I remember the days when you had to have a college email to sign up. I would log into this “exclusive” club with my Ohio State email and connect with old friends. It would take forever to upload pictures and God forbid you wanted to post a video. You would write messages on your friends’ walls and say things like (Your Name) is… There were no targeted ads or political drama. It was a new and fun way to reconnect with old friends to share your big news to a wide group of people all at once.
I Finally Cut The Cord.
After spending 14 years on Facebook I did something huge and completely unexpected. Kinda. It all started last February when I took a social media break. I found I was constantly on my phone distracted by my family and living in a state of of FOMO. The “detox”was the kick in the pants I needed.
After my hiatus, I posted one time as a good bye and that was it. But not really. It was the end of posting, commenting and liking. So basically I was a bonafide stalker to my 1500 “friends.” I was still getting sucked into everything that was going on even though I had told everyone that I was no longer using Facebook.
Lies, all lies. It was an addiction, I couldn’t let go of but we were on the verge of a break up.
It took many months to finally begin the process of deleting everything on Facebook. The reason I didn’t quit altogether was because I needed to access the kids school and activity pages. That was the official party line. Even though I was no longer posting I was needed to check it every time I sat down at my computer.
Then one day it hit me that it was was time. I began a major purge of groups, pages, deleting pages I admined and *gasp* unfriending people. My list held onto people I talked to on a regular basis but even this process took weeks to choose who was worthy of staying. *insert eyeroll*
I “Unfriended” My Family
Moments before I started writing this, I made the biggest decision to unfriend all my family and close friends. The one thing holding me back are the kids’ pages I desperately need to be on to be in the know . On top of that, I have to make sure all the pictures I posted over the years are on my computer.
I actually had the epiphany right there in that last sentence where I got up and hit the delete my account button. Now I’m in the 30 day waiting period. And I was right, I could do it.
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
Will I have withdrawal, probably, but I’ll survive. I’m not getting rid of all social media, just the one I don’t jive with any longer. It’s not like I’m still holding onto MySpace for the sake of it. I love Instagram with it’s pretty pictures and fun InstaStories, so that’s where I’m going to spend my social media time.
Facebook literally had a hold on me and it was time to end this relationship. I mean, I’ve been with Facebook longer than I’ve been married. That’s commitment, but it was nothing like a healthy marriage. It was toxic. I needed it but it didn’t need me. That’s when I knew it was over.
Yeah, It’ll be weird not logging in every day (20 times or more) but think of what I can do with all that extra time. No, not get on Instagram.
What I Will Gain From Breaking Up With Facebook?
- When a friend has big news I will get to have an actual conversation with them and see their initial reaction face to face.
- I will be less distracted FOR REAL. Facebook seems to suck me in more than any other social media network.
- My thoughts and emotions are controlled by me instead of being influenced by others.
- Less Drama
- Less Anxiety. Facebook is a 24/7 newsfeed. I never watch the news but somehow I was suckered into knowing things that I am better off not seeing every day.
While on Facebook, I posted every thought I had or picture I took without intention. I contributed to all the noise being thrown at us without a care in the world. I was constantly thinking how I could craft a post to make people want to engage. It took me out of actually being present with real life people because I was thinking about how to set up a good picture.
Now, I’m able to enjoy life and take pictures for my own memories. I’m not anxious about what other people are going to say. By deleting Facebook, I can take back control of how I see the world and not how people see me. Facebook was feeding into my people pleasing ways and now that I’ve cut the cord for good, I can focus on the people that matter most to me. There was a huge sense of relief, the moment I hit that Delete button and that’s how I knew this was for the best.
Put your oxygen mask on first.
Self care is essential for all parents to make it through the day.
So I’ve created a guide just for you: 7 Steps To Saying Yes to Yourself.