No Expectations Challenge – Day 1 & 2

“Pressure, pushing down on me, pushing down on you…” – David Bowie

The feeling boils up and when it becomes too much the lid explodes right off. As I was contemplating my challenge for April, I knew it was going to be about how I respond to people outside of myself. Up until the last minutes of March, I was going to incorporate more hugging into my daily contact with my family as my habit change for this month. We are already huggers but research shows that people need something like twelve hugs a day to thrive and I knew I wasn’t doling out 60 hugs to my family. That had to change. While I would like to increase the number of times we embrace daily, I stumbled upon something else that I believe takes precedence over hugging at this time.

No Expectations is the the habit change for April. I expect a lot from myself and others allowing the results to affect my day. This is no easy task to let go of and will take focused intention much like the social media challenge. I take for granted that my family knows how I will react to situation and know what they “should” be doing but they are not mind readers. A majority of the people I spend my day with are children and I should not place expectations on them because they are still learning the ins and outs of being human.

• This will be a month of self control to remember we all make mistakes. People are not doing things to deliberately make me mad (yes, they purposely knocked over the glass of water you gently placed on the table reminding them to be careful. Insert sarcasm).
• This will be a month free of judgment.
• A month of gentle reminders but not lacking consequences for actions.
• A month of constantly telling myself that a situation is just that, it is neither good nor bad and is only happening at this particular time.
• To release my daughter from the extremely high expectations I place on her behavior and actions as the oldest child.
• To remove the phrase, “you should know better,” from my vocabulary.
• To stop and pause before speaking, knowing my words carry expectations, so it’s time to change the tone.
• Enjoying the moment by not dwelling on the past or looking to what might happen in the future. When we truly stop looking at something as “good” or “bad,” we can let go of expectation, judgment and being perfect.

I’ve been reading lots of articles on how to do this and consistently recognizing when you have expectations can bring awareness to when it happens. I don’t know if there is a specific phrase to say or if keeping a notebook of moments will be effective but I do know that being intentional for the next 30 days will keep me mindful. By letting go,  I can stop being disappointed and not resent the people I love.

I believe this month will allow me be more vocal about things I desire from others, explaining my reasons why instead of assuming people know what I’m thinking and will then act how I deem appropriate. This is a month to let go and be free of yet another large weight pulling me down

And you know what they say when you assume…

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